Power corrupts oh absolutely!
by PlatinumPlayer
Summary: A retelling of bleach with two major differences: One Ichigo is female, and two she's as perverted as a middle aged man. AU Fem!Ichigo


Power corrupts.. oh absolutely!

Notes: Something witty and random I wrote in a few hours of boredom. Possibly the beginning of a series but whether i continue it right away or not I'm unsure. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1

I am a girl who can see ghosts. my father is the neighborhoods doctor, saving people's lives, not saving them. Honestly I think he's a quack with how many people expire but hey dead people can't complain... at least to the authorities. I on the other hand am privy to all their woes and whines... What a drag... I wish something exciting would happen...

"I'm home!" I sighed entering the front door, and exited it just as suddenly thanks to a violent kick from my father. Ass hole!

"You're late!" He stood over me tall and prod "What time do you think it is, you delinquent daughter! You know dinner is every night at 7!"

"You!" I bolted upright face inches from his and glaring ignoring the streams of blood pouring from my nose. "Is this how you greet your daughter who just returned from performing a serious exorcism?!"

"Silence!" My father in full patriarch mode puffed his chest. "No matter what reason, to she who disrupts this household's iron harmony only a punishment of blood can be rendered!"

"Played." A said flatly whipping my nose and slapping my hand on his. Honestly my father the wacko. He blinked and stared at the streaks of red as I passed. His hand was on my shoulder, I froze.

"Ketchup doesn't count..." His eye twitched sporadically in his temper and grinned strained trying to control himself. Damn, he noticed and I had planed that one out for weeks too.

"Um.." I came up dry and grinned in a similar manner.

"Punishment!" My father bellowed and attacked. Honestly... every night... Well if he wanted a fight, fine, I'd kick his ass! Back and forth we struggled from submission hold to submission hold till finally I was fed up and kicked him into the wall momentarily stunning him, ha! my victory!

"Yuzu save me!" I whined childishly and fled behind one of my younger sisters, father wouldn't dare touch them.. me on the other hand...

"Ichigo.... sister... nnnn... your hands!" Yuzu so innocent... I snuggled her tightly. So irresistible.

"Geez Ichigo, you're worse than dad..." Karin began but was silenced as I snatched her into my other arm and had a group hug. "Daddy Ichigo's being weird again!" Karin wined and my eyes widened.

"Ichigo!" my father bellowed bolting up with an aura of power around him fully revived. Ok... he was serious this time.

"Wait this was a miss under... muph!" My words cut off by his foot once more found my face and knocked me spiralling out of control across the room. Damn, that hurt. I get it fine... everyone wants to pick on me tonight.

"That's it, I'm going to bed!" I shouted and stormed off as soon as I was able to stand. I ignored the concern on everyone faces but smiled internally giving myself a thumbs up. That would buy me a few sympathy points.

Entering my room I collapsed on my bed after tossing my schoolbag aside. Honestly why did my sisters think it was wired to hold and snuggle them. My expression turned relaxed and lewd as I imagined them squealing in glee as I tickled them. Oh how I adored them.

Suddenly my perverse expression was erased as I looked to my left. Did some short haired boy just walk though my wall? Stunned my head and eyes tracked them as they took several steps into the center of my room then I looked back at the wall puzzled.

"Its near..." The girlish boy spoke. I stood and materialized behind them grinning with wicked intent.

"Waaah!?" They screeched as I forcefully tugged their hakama down to their ankles casing them to trip forward and give me a nice cute view of their panty clad bottom.

"Girl?" I blinked confused.

"W..wh.. what!?" She stammered scampering across the floor and hastily pulling her hakama back up around her waist. My grin darkened, she was cute too.

"You can see me!? I meant to say you could...?" She stammer then looked down at her hastily retied hakama face exploding in a violent blush.

"Yes, but aren't bears out of style nowadays?" I asked noting the embroidered picture that was on the cotton panties. Her blush deepened.

"That's not what I meant! Its... it's not possible for normal humans to see me." The girl frowned. "I'm a shinigami."

"A what?" I deadpanned...

"Ahh i see... I see... yes.." A short time later sitting across from the girl I nodded after hearing her explanation. "Yea right like I could believe that, you boy girl!" I raged bolting up and pointed at her dramatically

"Boy girl?" her eye twitch and I got the same nervous feeling I did when my father made that face.

"First restraint! Obstruction!" She cried throwing her hands out in a comedic manner, what wasn't so comedic was I now felt like I was wrapped in rope, paralyzed. I sweated as she advanced on me with revenge in her eyes, shit... what a brat.

"ouch ouch ouch! Enough! What the hell did you do to me?" I demanded after some punishment.

"I told you I am a shinigami, and this is part of my power. Can't move can you?" The brat goaded standing proud over her small victory. I planed revenge..

"Now I will explain again why I am here, maybe you will believe me this time. I will even use illustrations." The girl informed sitting cross legged in front of me and pulled out a notebook and crayons from seemingly nowhere.... I watched and listened as each picture was drawn and explained.

"And that's about it... any questions... huh?" She finally set down the book after explaining about spirits and hollows only to look bug eyed at me. I stared at her with large starry eyes. She was soooo cute even her little pictures...

"W..what's with that look?" She stammered uneasily and I frowned. Even a complete stranger misunderstood my purely innocent feelings. I was happy to continue to stare but suddenly a horrible howl filled the air.

"What was that..." I questioned feeling immediately unnerved. I looked towards my window... did it come from outside. No... somehow it sounded from inside...

"Hey! Can you hear that?" I cried trying to gain the girls attention that seemed suddenly elsewhere as she mumbled to herself. She turned to look at me confused and irritated I interrupted her, but as the next howl came she paled hearing it to.

"Kyaaaa!" Yuzu's voice filtered up from the first floor shrill and terrified. My heart stopped cold as the shinigami had turned to bolt from my room.

"Hey wait!" I demanded struggling with the invisible ropes. "What was that, is that the hollow!? Tell me!" I demanded almost frantic.

"Yes I will go and get rid of it, stay here!" The brat called and I felt my mind flood with anger.

"Cut the crap it's my family being attacked! Release me now!" I ordered trying to climb to my feet even against the resistance.

"Even if you came there is nothing you can do, you would be in the way! Stay here and be quiet!" The brat ordered fling open my door and entering the hall. I was not content to simply remain there... bound or not. Like a caterpillar I wiggled my way after the girl and as my head popped into the hallway my blood chilled.

"i..ichigo." Karin Bruised and bloodied lay in the hall in mid crawl to my room.

"Karin!" I screamed feeling a overwhelming urge to kill whoever or whatever had dared to harm her.

"Good. It hasn't come here." Karin strained to speak in clear distress from her injury's. "It happened so suddenly.. blood suddenly started pouring from daddy's back and he fell... Yuzu and I were attacked by something huge... I thought I had to.. warn you. I wonder what it was... I couldn't see it too well.. Ichi.. please... before it sees you... run away.." Karin finished on an exhale, her strength gone.

I stared.... and stared... unbelieving.. unthinking. Karin.. you... all this way. You crawled all this way like that... just to tell me. My vision blurred blazing white hot as a rage like I never knew overcame me. It hurt them.. IT HURT THEM! My family! My rage sprang forth from my lips like a primal howl as I fought against the invisible restraints. How dare it, how dare it lay a hand on them! Finally the bindings snapped freeing me and my wrath on the world. The shinigami tried to say something but I bolted past shoving her aside. Yuzu... father...

I hit the first floor at a blind run only to come to a screeching halt. My home... it looked like a warzone. The dining table smashed, dinner thrown about. Father lay crumpled to the side blood pooled around his body. Yuzu... where was Yuzu. Why didn't i hear this happen.. why didn't i know!? Left.. right... there! A large gaping whole in the wall.. beyond it a shadow.. A monster. It held Yuzu!

"You did this..." I spoke hoarse and ragged. "YOU DID THIS!" I screamed blood thirsty and mad with agony. I did not think as I ran forward grabbing the first weapon my hands could grasp, a baseball bat. It would pay for harming them!

"Good morning... Ichigo!" My eyes burst wide as my danger sense flared.

"Gaaaaah!" My father screamed as i intercepted him pinning him painfully to the floor with a submission hold.

"You bastard.... you got a lot of guts to attack your daughter while she sleeps." I grinned madly as I entertained thoughts of his painful screams, punishment for his crime.

"Gah! Not bad..." He grind despite his situation. "I have nothing left to teach you!"

"Huh? What happened to your injury's?" I questioned as last night returned to my mind. My father laying half dead in the kitchen surrounded by a pool of blood. He appeared completely fine now...

"Injury's?" My father blinked. "What injury's?" I released my father and he vanished after some words of praise about me making my mother proud. Honestly last night he was ravening about me making her cry.. I shook my head, it must have all been a dream. No way such a ridicules event happened.

Walking down stairs in night shorts and a lose tea shirt that was cut just below my average breasts I turned into the kitchen and sat. I then stood retraced my steps and stared...

"What the hell!" I cried in outrage at the massive hole in the wall, the same from my dream.

"Ho ho, so you noticed. That's my girl." my father appeared from nowhere proud of my ability to see the plainly obvious. "It seems someone crashed into our house in the middle of the night and none of us woke up."

I stared at him as if he where insane, then reprimanded myself for giving him doubt. No he was defiantly insane. But... I stared at the wall now boarded up hastily by my father. Was it all real? All of it? I turned to the kitchen table what was in terrible shape but it stood... barely. Yuzu and Karin sat around it in their pyjamas completely uninjured.

"Yuzu! Karin!" I cried out as i grabbed them, one in each arm squeezing tightly. My relief beyond words. They were ok... my sisters where ok...

"Ichi?" Karin complained concern in her voice for the concern in mine.

"Ichigo?" Yuzu questioned as well a little worried.

"You're ok... i was so worried..." I sighed... and they exchanged glances and smiled reassuringly.

"None of us where downstairs when it happened, so no one got hurt." Yuzu explained and I smiled softly. They didn't remember? No maybe i was being silly. The crash didn't wake me but was probably reason for my ridicules dream.

"Ichi?" Karin whimpered

"Ichigo your hands...." Yuzu squeaked.

I grinned and took full advantage of the opportunity to snuggle and abuse them, drawing cries of protest and pleas for help. Unfortunately my father always seeming to be around when i had my fun and again he interrupted me.

"Punishment!"

"Wait it's not.. Ack!" Violence ensued.

"Stop doing weird things!" Karin's cheeks blazed crimson as her arms crisscrossed her breasts in defence. Yuzu simply blushed looking down. I was going to be soar after this, but it was so worth it.

"Go to school you delinquent daughter!" my father commanded kicking me from the house quite literally while I was only half dressed in my uniform. Bastard I'd get him for that later... Straightening and dusting myself off I buttoned the top to my boys uniform. I was reluctant to leave Karin and Yuzu alone after my dream but there was little I could do so school it was.. what a drag.

Well school had its up points as well i was soon reminded as i entered my class room. A wicked grin spread across my face as I snuck up on my prey... Closer... closer.. Darn spotted!

"Kurosaki!" Inoue gasped over her shoulder looking like a cornered mouse. She gave the cutest cry of panic and fled to the other side of the room to hide behind Tatsuki Arisawa. I made a disgruntled face as i lowered my perverted raised hands and wiggling fingers. A missed opportunity, oh well I'd get her at lunch break.

"Ichigo stop picking on Orihime!" Tatsuki ordered shielding her friend and i pouted.

"I was just going to say good morning." I spoke in complete innocence. Tatsuki wasn't buying she had known me longer than most. She was also the only girl I knew that didn't mind my actions only giving me a stern word now and then to behave. It was probably because we where childhood friends.

Tatsuko crossed her arms and i sighed, defeated. Reluctantly i retreated to my desk all excitement and motivation gone from my body.

"Hello are you Kurosaki?" I turned to see a very familiar face sitting beside me. "Nice to meet..."

"Ah." I pointed dumbly. "boy girl." Rukia's eye twitched her mouth open in a awkward smile mid sentence. She slowly closed it then scribbled something on her hand.

"This is my first day here and i don't have a text book. Could i look at yours." She spoke sweetly in a sing song voice holding out her hand for a book showing me the message. It read 'Say something and I'll kill you.'

I blinked and pulled a marker from my bag... scribble scribble. I corrected her message. As she retrieved her hand confused and read her eyes suddenly bulged. 'Say something and I'll kiss you.' I opened my mouth to speak but she didn't give me the chance.

"Oh i haven't been shown around the school yet. Will you show me?" Rukia spoke loud and nerves as she garbed my wrist dragging me out of the room in a flash leaving everyone to stare in wonderment.

"What the hell kind of message is this?" Rukia demanded shoving her palm in my face after dragging me behind the school.

"That's what I want to ask, how could you misspell kiss?" I frowned crossing my arms causing her to glare. Her eyes twitched as she hastily rubbed the message off on her school uniform.

"We have to talk." Rukia spoke suddenly in a serious tone.

"Damn right we do." I was more than happy to talk. "Why are you still here, shouldn't you have returned to soul society? The hollows dead isn't it?"

"Only shinigami can return to Soul Society. Right now i cant, i have lost all my power. You took it all last night." Rukia spoke not looking happy in the slightest. For a moment i recalled her blade piercing my chest and her power being forced into me so i could save my family.

"But the Kimono is gone." i blinked as i looked over myself, no black garb to indicate the shinigami power. No massive blade to swing around, oh i liked that blade. It was fun to swing around...

"The powers are inside you, absorbed by your soul." Rukia explained. "That's why I'm stuck in this artificial body now..."

"Artificial body?" I questioned and stared at her with a critical eye.

"Yes when a shinigami loses their powers or are weakened in the human world we use artificial body's to contain us. Its why everyone can see me now... W..what are you doing?" Rukia spoke and her eyes began to twitch. my hand was rubbing up and down her flat chest.

"Sure its fake? You feel pretty real to me."

"Stop that!" Ruikia slapped my hand away and step back defensively.

"So?" I asked. "What does a powerless shinigami want with me?"

"Until my powers return." She looked reluctant but continued. "You will take over my duties."

"You mean you want me." I pointed at myself. "To fight more of those big scary monsters that almost killed me last night?" Rukia looked a little remorseful as she nodded. I stared... and grinned lewdly.

"I knew you where impressed. You couldn't stop staring at me last night after i kicked its ass." I beamed puffing my chest like a guy full of bravado. Rukia looked appalled and in complete denial.

"I wasn't staring!" Rukia stammered and blushed clearly lying.

"Admit it, i kicked ass." I continued to grin and leans down towards her "Admit it. or I won't help you."

"Fine..." Rukia fisted her hands at her side and grit her teeth. "You where..."

"Yesss?" My eyes narrowed with glee my grin widening with anticipation. Rukia fidgeted looking down and away in an extremely cute manner.

"You where... a little impressive."

I squealed beaming proudly and looked up at the sky with starry eyes in bliss. This was such a golden opportunity. Me a shinigami dark and mysterious just like out of some manga. Soon they would flock to my side praising and worshiping me... ahh.... lewd fantasises filled my head of being overwhelmed by stampedes of cute girls and saving damsels in distress. The day had finally come, i had become a prince!

"Ok point me... ugh!" I grind down at Rukia ready to fight and found myself propelled from my body tumbling and skidding across the ground thanks to a Rukia's powerful punch. She didn't look at all happy i had made her admit her admiration for me. I looked down.. my body lay crumpled and broken eyes wide and dead a few meters away.

"You murdered me!" I screamed pointing in horror standing dressed in the shinigami kimono.


End file.
